But what can I DO in these times of crisis?

Everyone in Australia has been affected by the recent wildfires in some way or other. Some have lost everything, including a loved one, some have “only” seen the horrendous images on TV.

The initial response from people on the ground has been immediate and appropriate and practical and very much filled an immediate and obvious need.

But once the ashes settle somewhat and the initial shock wears off there is the longer-term aftermath to consider. And/or if you live in an unaffected area and you have a kind and compassionate nature, the question arises:

What can I do to make a difference?

In our culture so far, doing is held up to be “be-all and end-all”. Phrases like “Don’t just sit there, DO something” or “plan the work, then work the plan” are commonplace.

But dropping everything in a panic to join in a rescue effort with no experience is likely to just hamper those who actually do have the skills and expertise.

Or, if you do something that isn’t really your thing, it might “merely” lead to your own burnout, especially if you are also dealing with the immediate effects of having lived through the fires yourself, so that ultimately doesn’t serve anyone either.  I always shudder a little when someone is praised as “selfless”. It literally means “without self”. The problem with that is that the giving is usually unsustainable. The self is there to inform you about where your limits (physical/spiritual/emotional/mental) are, and if you give from your own essence you are likely to have to pay back the energy used with interest down the track.

From personal experience, the fear that I felt in connection with the fires was an incredibly raw, survival-threatened kind of stress that makes all the other stresses I have experienced so far pale by comparison. (And the closest I got to the fires was about a kilometre!) This takes a toll on the body and the being.

So maybe we should flip the phrase to:

“Don’t just do something, sit there!”

Firstly, it’s ok to rest.
In fact, it’s essential.

In order for you to look after yourself and those who depend on you, you actually need to give your body and your being time to process the events. This can take many months and even years.

Secondly, feel into who you are now you have had that experience, and then offer what you can give from your “being-ness”. Maybe that looks like smiling at someone. Maybe that looks like having a cup of tea with a friend. Maybe it looks like cooking a meal to share. Maybe it looks like a hug or a listening ear. Maybe it looks like going onto a farm to help rebuild fences and sheds. Maybe it looks like joining the fire service. Maybe it looks like caring for a hurt animal. Maybe it looks like giving to charity. Maybe it looks like organizing logistics for the region. Maybe it looks like starting a charity of your own. Maybe it looks like telling a silly joke to create some lightness in the seriousness of it all. Maybe it looks like staying on the couch binge-watching movies while you recover.

All of these are perfectly fine. Every single one of us has our own unique talents and skills and contributions we can make at different times in life. We are each of us a piece of the puzzle. Again from my own experience, accepting shelter offered by friends allowed me to experience a whole new depth of gratitude. Most people would probably turn to family at those times, but we don’t have any in the area, which felt like a whole new level of vulnerability. Our friends took it in their stride, as if it wasn’t a “biggie” at all, but they changed my life.

So whatever you choose to contribute, make it sustainable. Sit there until something crops up in your life that really resonates, and then give what feels right. Be gentle with yourself. Take whatever time you need. And it doesn’t have to feel like hard work or cause you resentment or stress to be of value. In fact, chances are that you have already made a big difference to somebody or something without even knowing it.

No act of kindness or caring is too small to matter in the big scheme of things.