Some thoughts on Prayer

I never really grew up with prayer.

I did grow up with the concept that there are angels and spirit guides and God or Source or Universe or an originator of All That Is (whichever term you prefer) and that you could potentially turn to them in prayer.

I also grew up learning to rely mainly on myself, making my own decisions and wearing the consequences.

 

Asking for help felt like allowing myself to be vulnerable.

In my early 30’s, I partnered a man who died of cancer 2 years after we got together. As any of you who have been through this particular journey know, cancer is an all-pervasive thing, it takes over your life completely (even if you are “just” the carer). Initially I thought that I could handle that, but as time went on and things got worse, I started burning out and longed to feel like I was just “normal”, rather than the partner of and carer for someone who had cancer.

I loved being at work, because there were bite-size problems I could do something about, and people would leave smiling and happy. I braced myself on my way home, which was definitely no longer a refuge, but a place of overwhelming problems and pain that I couldn’t do something about.

Thankfully, my partner was of Italian background, and he had a lovely tribe of family and friends, and towards the end, there was always someone in the house with him, and at times, they even came on weekends so I could go out and have a cuppa with a girlfriend. They would probably have come more often or stayed a bit longer, if I had only asked.

I didn’t quite “get it” at the time, but it was my first true experience of community and support. I have no doubt that it was available to me on other occasions earlier, but I wasn’t burnt out enough to have no other option than to accept unconditionally.

Now, the thing about helping is this: If you ask for help, not only are you gaining something invaluable (the help), you actually also empower the other person. They are given an opportunity to feel good about being able to help someone, and they realize (even if only subconsciously) that they can make a positive difference in the world (even if it is small).

Studies have shown that altruism leads to longer, happier, healthier lives, meaning that we are intrinsically wired to thrive on helping one another. It helps us feel connected and valued, and allows us to get in touch with our own brighter sides.

And couple of side notes here:

∞    It is perfectly ok to say no to helping if it doesn’t align with you at the time for whatever reason.

∞    If someone says no to helping you, take it spiritually, not personally, and ask someone else!

So what does all of this have to do with prayer, you ask?

Good question!

Recently, things all got a bit much for me. I felt unsupported and overwhelmed (thankfully no life-threatening circumstances). So one day, driving into work, I blew my top and had very stern Words with the Universe and told them in no uncertain terms that if I kept getting wrapped up with trivialities and details, there was no way I was going to be able to be and do what I was supposed to! On that very same morning, I got flowers from two different friends, who knew how much I had been struggling. I took that as an apology from the Universe, and the things stressing me out got resolved I think that very same day.

About two weeks later, much the same thing happened again (with a different theme), leaving me stressed out and exhausted and I had stern words again – and got two different, completely unexpected outcomes that actually were the answer to my requests on that same day.

So at this point, I stopped and thought: Well, maybe I should just ask for what I need .... nicely.... when the need arises, rather than struggling to solve it myself and then blowing my top when I am overstretched?

So I did that for about a week, with moderate success. So yesterday, I tuned into not just what I was asking for, but to what receiving it would mean to me, and how it would change the world. I really felt how wonderful it would be, and what kind of positive changes that would come along as a result. And things flowed and changed straight away!

So, in summary (and thank you for reading this far):  We are all an intricate part of the Web of Life, and anything that affects us individually will affect everything. That is both our power and our responsibility. We are deserving of support and love and abundance, and if we can put that into the context of the ripple effects this is going to create (we truly are no good to anyone if we are burnt out and exhausted), and we can tap into the feeling of joy and community and wonderfulness that happen when our lights are shining the brightest they possibly can, we can create positive changes in the world almost effortlessly.

And if we can hold that in our hearts, all we have to do is ask, and angels, both in spirit and in human form, will come along to support us in joy.

Be open to see the answers to your prayer coming along in unexpected shapes. The Universe prefers not to shout and generally quite subtle in the way it interacts with you.

And I would always recommend saying “thank you”, too.